Please forgive me. I'm not very good at expressing myself, so I'm having a friend write this for me. I'm quite young and live at home with my mom. You can call me Johnny, Jr.Mom has been having some real problems lately. Last night, when she thought I was asleep, I heard her call someone on the phone and arrange to have me killed. I couldn't believe it! But it's true! She's going to pay the man all of her savings to do it.
The last thing in the world I want to do is to die. I want to live, but if someone doesn't do something quick, I won't be around much longer.
The incredible thing about this whole situation is that it's perfectly legal. By some fluke of the law, my mom can call up this man and arrange to pay him for killing me and there is not one thing I can do to prevent it.
I don't suppose it will be reported in the news: "Mom pays man to kill her son because her son's presence was inconvenient for her. Fluke of the law makes it legal. See obituary page for details."
No, it definitely won't be in the news, Nor will it be in the obituaries. My friend says the reason it won't, is contained in John-Three-Twenty, whatever that is.
Actually, the fluke in the law is very similar to a decree made in Nazi Germany that Jews were not to have any rights anymore. It was perfectly legal, as far as Nazi Germany was concerned, to take away all possessions of any Jew, including his or her life.
Of course, this is not Nazi Germany, it's America, and I'm not necessarily a Jew, I'm just not born yet! But the fluke in the law still exists. No, it's not in the Constitution. By the way, doesn't the Constitution assure life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? My friend says that Congress didn't pass this law that makes it legal for someone to kill me. He says a handful of judges once decided that it was okay to kill people as long as they haven't traveled through the birth canal yet. That's the fluke in the law. And that will be the death of me if someone doesn't do something about it soon.
Written for Johnny Jr. by Larry Myers